It’s 9:15pm. I’m tucked up in bed, drinking Ashwaganda and something else fancy in my Pukka ‘Peace’ tea. The mug is warm to hold, the silky milky liquid soothing my body head to toe.
This is what Peace tastes like, not just on my tongue, but in the pleasantly plump balloon filling my belly. The fullness of that cavity in my body that I worked so hard to flatten for so many years.
This is what Peace feels like, the gentle flutter of my eyelids as they lazily surrender to gravity and flirt with the idea of covering my eyes completely.
This is what Peace looks like, a room of my favorite things. Bookshelves with books stacked in coordinating colors, dressers and wardrobes covered with magical elephants and tropical orchids, bringing life to what was a sea of beige.
This is my new secret hiding place. A place just for me (and friends and family when they come visit.) The writing desk is no longer the centerpiece. It no longer needs a stage of a room. Wedged in another room between the keyboard, acrylics, and DJ decks, it now actually gets used, in the most sterile room in the house of all places. The whitewashed walls acting like a canvas, beckoning for the art to be made.
The conditions have changed. No longer needing to fight my surroundings to make room for me, a tiny little closet of a room will do.
Funny how that works. You work so hard to perfect the space around you, when all you needed was to get to know what’s inside you, for the space around you to be perfect.
Yes a different place to live helps. A house that feels like home from the get-go. A neighborhood that brings community without even trying too hard. A location that brings me closer to the sea, places to go and drink tea, and a library.
These things help. They send a message that only my body can receive. A signal to my nervous system that it’s ok to put down the guns. The fight is done. Relax. Breathe. Be. Drink up the Peace.
Tomorrow we’re gathering. Online via Zoom at 7pm UK, 2PM EST. Come join us. We might dance. Get to know what’s inside you, so you can drink up the Peace.